The Crab Mentality: Why You Secretly Want Your Friends To Fail

Picture this… You’re sitting in your 9-5 job (that you hate), and one of your friends quits to start a business.

One year later, you check on LinkedIn and look them up. The business failed, they took a new job similar to the one they had.

“Whew, that was a close call”.

Fortunately they didn’t make it, or else you would have had to feel jealousy, regret, and maybe even anger (at yourself, your situation, etc.)

This is the crab mentality. You put a bunch of crabs in a bucket, and they could easily climb out. But each time one tries, the other crabs drag him back down. “If I can’t get out, neither can anyone else”. Or “If I can’t have it, neither can you.”

So the reality is this:

Most people don’t really want to succeed.

Or I should say… they aren’t willing to do any of the necessary STEPS to succeed.

They want other people around them to stay stagnant so they can feel okay about doing the same. If all your friends are stuck in their dead-end jobs and you’re in a job you hate, you’ll feel alright. As soon as one chases their dream, gets an awesome job they love, or starts a successful company and earns 6-7 figures the first year, you’re miserable again.

That’s why you want your friends to fail.

And that’s why you feel that uncomfortable feeling in your gut when you hear a success story.

I also think this is why people don’t support their friends’ business ventures and startups as much as they should.

You don’t really WANT them to “make it” because you’ll feel bad that you didn’t.

And if they fail, you can justify not even trying.

“See? it wouldn’t have worked out anyway. Glad I didn’t try THAT!”

The #1 reason most people don’t achieve their dreams (complete freedom, becoming a millionaire, etc.) is that they didn’t attempt even 1 single venture, activity, project, etc… that could even POSSIBLY lead to that result.

It’s just basic math. Read The Millionaire Fastlane if you don’t get what I’m talking about. It’s a great book. I probably recommend it in half the blog posts I write.

But most people don’t do a single activity in their damn life that will actually get them the result they’d claim they want if you asked “what is your dream?”

And no, buying a lottery ticket doesn’t count. In fact if you buy lotto tickets as your “plan” to achieve your dream, hit the “back” button. This article isn’t for you.

Anyway, when I see a friend trying to start a business I support them however I can. I like every damn thing they post on Instagram. I don’t care if they’re selling the ugliest damn t-shirt I’ve ever seen, with holes in it. I’m liking that post every time. And you should too.

Anything else is holding YOU back mentally because you’re still a crab, hoping you look on LinkedIn in 2 years so you can feel that rush of temporary relief as you see they’re back in the same shitty situation that you are.

P.S. – If you liked this article, you’ll love this one… Why the same people succeed over and over again while others fail.

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